Saturday, February 4, 2012

Summer of Star Wars



While we love the long summer holidays, sometimes Nathan and I struggle with the intensity of having both boys around all day every day, with their high activity levels - running, shouting, jumping, stomping through the house, opening and closing doors constantly. This is especially the case when they squabble over toys and need us to help them resolve the conflicts.


These summer holidays have been refreshingly calm. The boys have played together so well, majority of the time. Of course there are still little arguments over toys etc, but that is normal with brotherly interactions.


Eli has had a long standing Star Wars obsession, and now has quite a sizeable collection of Star Wars figurines complete with little light sabers. His favourite activity is re-playing scenes from Star Wars movies or the Clone Wars series with his figurines. Ethan also has a few of his own and we often hear the boys playing Star Wars together. Ethan particularly likes his R2-D2 and R4-P17 droids. Eli's Star Wars obsession has definitely flowed over to Ethan. I'm always finding Ethan's drawings of "Datrh Vader" and "Yoba" (as he spells it!) scattered around the house or stuck on the fridge. Or being accosted by the boys dressed in Star Wars gear with their light sabers, ready to attack!


It is great that they are now able to share interests and are enjoying playing together. Ethan's speech and understanding has improved greatly in the last year, and he can participate in all of Eli's discussions and games. I love hearing them giggling and chatting together as they share activities and play times...makes those challenging moments easy to forget! I am so grateful that they have each other as friends and playmates.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Changing Perceptions: The power of autism link

My dad sent me this link, it is a refreshing and encouraging article about the abilities and strengths of people with autism.

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v479/n7371/full/479033a.html

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tools of the Trade

These tools of the trade – for teaching/ helping a child with autism – are the ones I keep close at hand, the tools that I use everyday to get the job done most effectively and efficiently!

Time timer
I was so excited to discover this visual timer a few years ago, on Sue Larkey’s website. It is a great concept, with the red indicator to give the child a visual as the time elapses. The timer is silent apart from a little double beep when the time has completed. We use the Time Timer every day. It is useful for indicating time on the computer, preparing the boys for changes in activities, giving them an expectation on how long I want them to keep on a task eg. sitting at the dinner table, and for indicating how much time is left before a change is coming up eg. 2 minutes left in the bath. The boys are so accustomed to the timer that they often request it. For example if I say, “time to get out of the bath now” they say “put the timer on mum?” so I’ll set it for 2 minutes, then when it beeps they are usually happy to get out of the bath.

First, then
This visual aid is almost miraculous in its’ effectiveness. It often amazes me how well this visual aid works. I can tell Ethan 5 times “toilet then dinner time” and he may refuse or not acknowledge what I have said. Then I will put the picture cards on and show it to him and he will do what I have asked! It reminds me how much more powerful visual information is compared to verbal information for Ethan. This visual aid has proven useful with activities like swimming. Ethan has to wear ear plugs because he has grommets bilaterally, but he really dislikes wearing ear plugs or a swimming cap on his head. He does love being in the water, so using the visual of first ear plugs in, then ear band on, then SWIM works. He understands what things need to happen before he can go in the water, when he is given the visuals.

Obsessions are your friend!
Work with the special interests rather than trying to stifle them. Refer to my post Obsessions: Love them or Loathe them - learn to use them!

My “be prepared bag”
Whenever we go to church, a doctor’s appointment, to the hospital, supermarket shopping, etc I always take a bag of essentials with me, even if I won’t end up needing it all. I always anticipate that I will have to wait and will have to keep the boys entertained. My activity bag contains:
· a mini magnetic drawing board
· container of snacks (rice crackers/ pretzels/ tiny teddies/ grapes etc)
· a couple of trains
· bottles of water
· colouring/ activity books
· textas
· Ethan’s electronic spell-checker (one of his most beloved “toys”)
· Eli’s Star Wars reference book
· Fidget toys (koosh balls, stretchy animals, mini hand massager)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Obsessions: Love them or Loathe them…learn to use them!

Obsessive interests are part and parcel of autism spectrum disorders. Ethan’s ability to fixate on his interests has always amazed me, even before I knew he was autistic. Ethan’s first obsession, which I only realise in hindsight, was the Teletubbies. When he was about 9 months old, his interest was piqued one day as I was flicking through the TV channels and he caught a glimpse of the Teletubbies and started to giggle. I loved hearing that beautiful bubbling baby giggle so we kept watching. A few weeks later he was crying in his carseat when we were driving somewhere, and I said “eh-oh!” like the Teletubbies, which resulted in those lovely giggles again. When Ethan was around 18 months old, he would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night crying for no apparent reason; even after Panadol and cuddles he wouldn’t settle. So I took to playing a Teletubbies dvd I had bought, and he calmed down immediately and would eventually go to sleep. One night he was having a huge tantrum and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, eventually I put on the Teletubbies and he was so happy. I guess that was one of the first inklings of obsessive interests.

When he was a toddler, he would sit and do puzzles for hours, so content, and his skills were far beyond his age. Then he had a colouring obsession – I would buy colouring books from Chickenfeed and he would sit and colour-in until every page was covered in colour…. sometimes two hours later. He had some innate focused drive to finish every page.

His next major obsession was the Wiggles and his focus was incredibly intense. We would be walking through a mall and he would glimpse the tiniest Wiggles logo inside a shop and pull toward the shop and jump with excitement while studying the logo. By this time (around 3 years old) I knew he probably had autism, and I thought we should use the obsession as a teaching tool: we sang “Hot Potato” every night to get him to eat his dinner; we spent hours looking at Wiggles picture books with him, trying to encourage some speech; we played Wiggles DVDs to encourage some imitation of their dances and body postures; he learned colours because he was attracted to the Wiggles’ coloured skivvies and began labelling their shirt colours.

He has had many other fixations, but they change every 3 or 4 months. It is fortunate now that Ethan is in prep, that his strongest interest is letters and numbers. He spends hours writing sentences, checking on how to spell words, writing numbers, typing sentences on the laptop, reading books, spelling words on the fridge with magnetic letters. He literally spends at least one to two hours each day writing on his mega-sketcher. Sometimes he looks up a letter in his children’s dictionary and copies out all the words that start with that letter. He is spelling quite well, given his amazing photographic memory and interest in words and letters. This is an obsession that is educationally very beneficial! And he loves to share this interest with others, asking them what their name is, then writing it down and showing it to them proudly.

Transitions (changes in activities, or moving to a different place or task), which are difficult for many children with autism, are made so much easier using the special interest. For example, getting Ethan out of the car if we have gone shopping – often this takes 10 minutes or more and Ethan cries and protests or lies on the car floor refusing to get out. If I am savvy, I will plan ahead before we even leave to go to the shops and using a visual time table, will tell him “first shop, then car, then when you come in the house, you can write words/ type on the computer”.

Some professionals will advise parents to discourage obsessive interests in their children with autism, because of the assumption that the singular interest will cut them off from developing relationships and communication skills. But in my experience if you try to stamp out an obsession, another quickly forms. I believe that obsessive interests are an integral part of autism, and that level of intense focus and interest in a specific area is possible due to the neurological differences in brain structure of a person with autism. Obsessions can be a springboard to learning and developing opportunities for social interactions and communication.

My perspective is - use the obsessions to teach and engage a child with autism. Obsessions are highly motivating, most kids will complete less-preferred tasks (eg. going to the toilet) if they are rewarded with something related to their interest immediately afterwards. Creativity in tailoring activities to a child’s area of interest will pay off.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A delicious way to teach emotions

Ethan’s favourite cookies are the gingerbread faces I make. He is very interested in emotions and facial expressions of late. Not usually an area of interest for a child with autism! – so I am harnessing that interest as much as I can! We have puzzles that focus on facial expressions, we talk about facial expressions and gestures and what the person might be feeling, we have dvds that show emotional expressions. We play games where we pretend to be happy, sad, surprised, scared, angry, tired etc which Ethan loves – both guessing the emotion and playing out the emotion himself.
Ethan has the tendency to get an idea or concept in his brain and then forever more that particular idea/ representation is set in stone – no flexibility tolerated! For example in Ethan’s mind, if someone has their arms crossed then they are angry. I am not sure where that association initially came from, maybe once when I was pretending to be angry (or was angry for real!!), I crossed my arms and did an angry face. Now if anyone ever has their arms crossed to Ethan they are “angwy”. Even if they are smiling and their face indicates happiness. He will insist they are angry even if I point out that their mouth is smiling, their eyebrows are not furrowed, they look happy etc. So we have been working on the different expressions and trying to change any of these fixations he has about how emotion is expressed physically.
So, one of my “tools” are these cookies. A delicious way to continue reinforcing the concept of emotions and hopefully creating flexibility in his mind about how emotion is expressed!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Power of a Few Words

In the past few months I have been feeling a lot more positive about the reality of the boys' autism spectrum disorders. Maybe I am reaching the acceptance phase of grief/ diagnosis. Anyway, I feel more hopeful about their futures whereas a year or two ago I was very worried, especially about Ethan.

But a brief interaction at the Ear Nose and Throat Specialist's office today really made an impact on me.

We had to get Eli's ears and tonsils checked, and I had both boys with me today. We had been waiting for 40 minutes, so I was feeling stressed and edgy... Eli was leaping off chairs, climbing under chairs, repeatedly approaching the nurse saying "is it our turn yet?". Ethan was sitting on a chair pretending to be Ben the talking dog (iPhone app), flicking his magazine, throwing it on the floor and saying "hello hello" over and over, and generally acting a bit eccentric.

When we were finally ushered in, I tried hard to multi-task: attending to the doctor's questions and providing background information while attempting to keep a squirmy Ethan away from touching the doctor's computer and expensive equipment. At one point the doctor said "So, you have two children with autism? How did that happen?!" I was taken aback, it seemed a strange comment for a doctor to make and I paused while trying to figure out how to respond. I just said "I don't know..." I can't figure out what he was getting at, but for some reason those few words impacted on me, and I felt really flat leaving the office. Fortunately Eli does not need grommets inserted or a tonsillectomy, so that is a good outcome. But my flat mood is making me focus on the negatives, or the challenges of raising my boys with their different needs. I hate feeling like this, usually I am able to dwell more on the positives of autism.

I feel a bit annoyed with myself that a passing comment can have such an impact on my emotions. I must still be too over-sensitive to other people's perceptions of my children and my life.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Don't Mourn For Us

I have recently stumbled upon this amazing piece of insight into the perspective of a person with autism. Jim Sinclair, the man who wrote this essay, is an adult with autism and did not speak until he was 12 years of age. In this essay, he speaks against the sadness and grief parents experience when their child is diagnosed with autism. He re-defines that grief experience as a mourning for loss of expectations of an imagined relationship - which he says has nothing to do with autism or with the child. He says "It isn't about autism, it's about shattered expectations".

The thoughts expressed in this essay have caused me to try to focus on Ethan's strengths more than I do, and accept him for the wonderful, delightful boy he is, instead of seeing him through my sometimes negatively-tinted autism lens. This has also challenged me to re-frame my concept of autism in terms of the positive aspects it brings to my child - autism is not necessarily negative.

Another key passage in this essay that resonated with me:
"You didn't lose a child to autism. You lost a child because the child you waited for never came into existence. That isn't the fault of the autistic child who does exist, and it shouldn't be our burden. We need and deserve families who can see us and value us for ourselves, not families whose vision of us is obscured by the ghosts of children who never lived. Grieve if you must, for your own lost dreams. But don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you."

I have gained such insight and a different perspective on autism through pondering what Jim says in this essay; hopefully others do too.

Don't Mourn For Us