Ethan’s favourite cookies are the gingerbread faces I make. He is very interested in emotions and facial expressions of late. Not usually an area of interest for a child with autism! – so I am harnessing that interest as much as I can! We have puzzles that focus on facial expressions, we talk about facial expressions and gestures and what the person might be feeling, we have dvds that show emotional expressions. We play games where we pretend to be happy, sad, surprised, scared, angry, tired etc which Ethan loves – both guessing the emotion and playing out the emotion himself.
Ethan has the tendency to get an idea or concept in his brain and then forever more that particular idea/ representation is set in stone – no flexibility tolerated! For example in Ethan’s mind, if someone has their arms crossed then they are angry. I am not sure where that association initially came from, maybe once when I was pretending to be angry (or was angry for real!!), I crossed my arms and did an angry face. Now if anyone ever has their arms crossed to Ethan they are “angwy”. Even if they are smiling and their face indicates happiness. He will insist they are angry even if I point out that their mouth is smiling, their eyebrows are not furrowed, they look happy etc. So we have been working on the different expressions and trying to change any of these fixations he has about how emotion is expressed physically.
So, one of my “tools” are these cookies. A delicious way to continue reinforcing the concept of emotions and hopefully creating flexibility in his mind about how emotion is expressed!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Power of a Few Words
In the past few months I have been feeling a lot more positive about the reality of the boys' autism spectrum disorders. Maybe I am reaching the acceptance phase of grief/ diagnosis. Anyway, I feel more hopeful about their futures whereas a year or two ago I was very worried, especially about Ethan.
But a brief interaction at the Ear Nose and Throat Specialist's office today really made an impact on me.
We had to get Eli's ears and tonsils checked, and I had both boys with me today. We had been waiting for 40 minutes, so I was feeling stressed and edgy... Eli was leaping off chairs, climbing under chairs, repeatedly approaching the nurse saying "is it our turn yet?". Ethan was sitting on a chair pretending to be Ben the talking dog (iPhone app), flicking his magazine, throwing it on the floor and saying "hello hello" over and over, and generally acting a bit eccentric.
When we were finally ushered in, I tried hard to multi-task: attending to the doctor's questions and providing background information while attempting to keep a squirmy Ethan away from touching the doctor's computer and expensive equipment. At one point the doctor said "So, you have two children with autism? How did that happen?!" I was taken aback, it seemed a strange comment for a doctor to make and I paused while trying to figure out how to respond. I just said "I don't know..." I can't figure out what he was getting at, but for some reason those few words impacted on me, and I felt really flat leaving the office. Fortunately Eli does not need grommets inserted or a tonsillectomy, so that is a good outcome. But my flat mood is making me focus on the negatives, or the challenges of raising my boys with their different needs. I hate feeling like this, usually I am able to dwell more on the positives of autism.
I feel a bit annoyed with myself that a passing comment can have such an impact on my emotions. I must still be too over-sensitive to other people's perceptions of my children and my life.
But a brief interaction at the Ear Nose and Throat Specialist's office today really made an impact on me.
We had to get Eli's ears and tonsils checked, and I had both boys with me today. We had been waiting for 40 minutes, so I was feeling stressed and edgy... Eli was leaping off chairs, climbing under chairs, repeatedly approaching the nurse saying "is it our turn yet?". Ethan was sitting on a chair pretending to be Ben the talking dog (iPhone app), flicking his magazine, throwing it on the floor and saying "hello hello" over and over, and generally acting a bit eccentric.
When we were finally ushered in, I tried hard to multi-task: attending to the doctor's questions and providing background information while attempting to keep a squirmy Ethan away from touching the doctor's computer and expensive equipment. At one point the doctor said "So, you have two children with autism? How did that happen?!" I was taken aback, it seemed a strange comment for a doctor to make and I paused while trying to figure out how to respond. I just said "I don't know..." I can't figure out what he was getting at, but for some reason those few words impacted on me, and I felt really flat leaving the office. Fortunately Eli does not need grommets inserted or a tonsillectomy, so that is a good outcome. But my flat mood is making me focus on the negatives, or the challenges of raising my boys with their different needs. I hate feeling like this, usually I am able to dwell more on the positives of autism.
I feel a bit annoyed with myself that a passing comment can have such an impact on my emotions. I must still be too over-sensitive to other people's perceptions of my children and my life.
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